


Not According to plan

by Newagenewbarricade



Series: Alinn/Lyonel [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Blood Magic, Comfort, Fluff, Healing Magic, M/M, Trans Character, mentions of past suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Newagenewbarricade/pseuds/Newagenewbarricade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lyonel never planned to fall in love. But even the best laid plans can fall to ruin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not According to plan

Alinn had vanished. Lyonel hadn’t seen him since before he had to help a new apprentice get settled into the circle. He asked a few other mages and they either hadn’t seen him or didn’t even know who he was. The little apprentice was still following Lyonel like a baby duckling or perhaps a nug.

       “Who’s Alinn? Is he another mage here? Why are you asking so many people?” The child had a seemingly endless stream of questions, all about Alinn.

       “Why do you have so many questions about him?” Lyonel asked, feeling a bit exasperated.

       “Because you’re the only person I know here and you’re nice, and he’s your friend so he must be nice too. I want to know the nice mages here.”

       Lyonel gave a sympathetic smile to the child,

       “You’re from the Free marches aren’t you?” He recognized the accent.

       “Kirkwall.” The child replied.

       “Ah, good city.” Was all he said.

       “You’re from there too?” the child seemed very excited.

       “I am indeed young one, where in the city were you from?”

       “Darktown.” The child replied, “What about you sir?”

       “No need to call me sir, my name is Lyonel. I was from hightown.” He couldn’t help but think that to this child the tower had to be better than the violence and extreme poverty they had come from, even if the tower was still awful.

       “You were from hightown?” The child asked in awe.

       Lyonel nodded. He saw Jowan had a concerned look on his face as he came over to him,

       “What happened Jowan?” He asked.

       “It’s Alinn” He paused looking at the child, “you should go.”

       Lyonel felt his stomach drop, “Go to the apprentice quarters, I’ll be back.”

       The child sensed the tension in the room and nodded their head before scampering away. Once the child was gone Lyonel looked at Jowan, too afraid to ask but needing an answer,

       “What happened?”

       “I don’t know, apparently we won’t be allowed to see him for a few days. Irving’s always liked you maybe he’ll tell you what happened?”

       “He better.” Lyonel thought to himself. “I’m going to go ask him.” He said.

       Lyonel went to Irving’s office to find the Enchanter sitting at his desk, laboring over paperwork no doubt.

       “First Enchanter, may I have a word?”

       Irving looked up from his desk,

       “Amell, of course my boy, close the door behind you.” Irving said.

       Lyonel stepped inside and closed the door. Irving motioned for Lyonel to sit in the open chair. Lyonel did as he was directed, hands folded in his lap to stop them from shaking.

       “I heard that something happened to Alinn…” Lyonel couldn’t even find the words. His fear must’ve been apparent on his face if Irving’s look of sympathy was anything to go by.

       “Yes, Surana is a grim boy. Your fellow apprentice is a troubled young man, hopefully one day the dark cloud hanging above him will dissipate.”

       Lyonel knew Alinn. They were as close as two apprentices could be. He knew the cloud above Alinn would never dissipate as long as he was in the circle. Even then he had a feeling it wasn’t going away easily.

       “What, exactly happened?” Lyonel asked at last.

       “He cast a walking bomb on himself. He refuses to say why so we can only assume this was another attempt on his own life.” Irving said, it was clear as he finished his sentence that he cared more about his apprentice than his words let on.

       “May I see him? Please?” Lyonel asked, trying to make himself sound less like he was begging.

       “That may not be the best thing for him at this time.”

       “Irving, with all due respect I think seeing someone who cares about him after trying once again to take his own life might be good for him. To remind him that he isn’t alone and that he matters to someone, he matters to me.” His voice cracked, shocking no one more than Lyonel himself.

       Irving looked at the young apprentice in his office with a mixture of pity and something Lyonel couldn’t quite identify.

       “I’ve been informed he needs to heal for a few days before he can resume his normal routine. I will tell him you asked about him.”

       “Don’t keep me from him.” Lyonel said.

       “He needs to heal and you have a small child to show around the circle, that’s the last we will be speaking on this matter.” Irving said.

       Lyonel’s teeth ground together as he left Irving’s office. The Kirkwall child he’d been in charge of was sitting outside the office.

       “Jowan told me you were here so I waited for you, is your friend okay? You look angry, is something wrong?”

       Lyonel was unsure if he wanted to just make things up to placate the child or to actually tell them everything that was wrong. He felt he shouldn’t use this child as his emotional receptacle and opted instead,

       “My friend is in a very dark place little one, do you know who your mentor is yet? I’m sure you have a good one.”

       “Yeah, her name is Wynne she seems nice.”

       Lyonel nodded, he vaguely knew Wynne.

       “She’s a good one, you’re going to have a good teacher here.”

       “I wish you could be my mentor though.” The child said.

       “I’m still an apprentice myself, I’m not good enough to teach yet.” Lyonel said, he knew he wasn’t that far from his harrowing but he definitely didn’t have the patience for an apprentice yet.

       “How long have you been here?” The child asked as the two walked down the hallway.

       “Since I was, seven I believe.” Lyonel said, thinking back to the day his parents handed him over to the Templars. He thought he’d be going to the gallows but instead he was on a long boat ride to a country he’d only ever known as “the one with too many dogs”.

       “I’m nine, it’s gonna take me so long to catch up to you.”

       “You have plenty of time, I’m twice as old as you there’s no rush. Just treasure your abilities.” Sometimes they’ll be all you’ve got he added to himself.

       “But this is a curse.” The child said tilting their head slightly.

       “No. Never let anyone tell you that. Being a mage is a gift you should always treasure it, this is what separates us from everyone else. We are special and that is great. I never want to hear you say this is a curse again okay?”

       “O-okay.” The child said.

       “Well, I think that ends our tour for today. Ugh” Lyonel’s head was pounding. “I need to go.”

He headed to the upper level of the tower. He was an apprenticed healer so no one questioned him making his way to the infirmary. His mentor, Dianna noticed him approaching,

“You can’t be here Amell.” She said.

“Why not? If I’m to be a healer shouldn’t I be in the infirmary learning how to heal?”

“First Enchanter’s orders, I’m sorry. Go to the library and read about spirit healing or something, if I need you I’ll send for you.”

“Dianna please just let me see him.”

“That’s not the best idea.” She said, glancing to the Templars all around the infirmary. “I’m sorry, but he isn’t doing well. He might not last the night.”

Lyonel grimaced, “All the more reason to let me see him. Please Dianna if he’s going to… He wouldn’t want to be alone.”

Dianna gave him a sympathetic glance as she went to a cabinet to get a roll of bandages. Lyonel walked out of the infirmary pretending he didn’t know that Alinn was a mere few feet away but he was being denied the right to even see him. He walked through the library, made a whole show of sitting down with a spirit healing book. After pretending to skim through the book he placed it back on the shelf. He left the library and went down one of the less travelled corridors. He sat in the dark corridor, everything was where he’d put it last. No one had been down this hallway in years for any reason beyond hooking up or having a breakdown.

For once Lyonel wasn’t here for either of those reasons. He pulled the loose stone out of the floor, and reached into the small area where he kept all his less-than-morally-sound supplies. He took out the small roll of parchment and the knife he’d stolen from the kitchens a year ago. He knew the risks of using blood magic but at this point he couldn’t stop. It was what would help him pass his harrowing. It kept him and those he cared about safe. If his soul was damned for it then so be it.

He began muttering the spell under his breath, the air he breathed came out slightly smoky and heavy. He put the dagger to his palm and cut it open, bleeding onto the parchment as he completed the spell. He put the bloodied dagger and the parchment back where he always kept them and placed the loose stone atop them once more. He cast a healing spell on his hand, no one would ever suspect a healer of being a Maleficar.

* ***

The next day Lyonel was headed toward the infirmary to see if there had been any change in Alinn’s condition when Dianna walked up to him,

“Lyonel you’ll be pleased to know that your friend has been discharged. He’s probably in the apprentice’s quarters now. I’ve decided to give you a day off since you’ve been working so hard lately.” She gave him a wink and motioned for him to go. He nodded, taking note of her seemingly knowing smile as he left.

He headed back to the apprentice’s quarters. He went over to Alinn’s bed and saw his fellow apprentice grimacing as he tried to sit on his bed,

“Crap healers?” Lyonel asked.

“No just uh, this is just what happens when you blow half your body up.” Alinn winced, wrapping his arm across his chest.

“When was the last time those bandages were changed? Or your wounds were cleaned?” Lyonel asked, his healing side instinctively kicking in.

“Ugh, I don’t know I don’t even know how long I was in the infirmary.” Alinn looked away from Lyonel, “I do know I didn’t see you the whole time though.”

Lyonel caressed Alinn’s face, “You can blame your mentor for that, he wouldn’t let me see you.”

“I’m going to have to have a word with him about that.” Alinn said.

“Not before I have a word with you.” Lyonel said.

“And what pray tell do you want to know?” Alinn asked, slouching in a way that Lyonel was sure couldn’t be good for an upper chest injury.

“What happened? You were in a good spot right? I thought-” His voice trailed off when he saw Alinn turn away from him,

“It wasn’t that it was, something different.” He said. Lyonel inched closer to Alinn, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“What happened?”

“I couldn’t stand it anymore.” Alinn turned to face him, arms crossed. “I couldn’t stand everyone looking at me, questioning me interrogating me. I just wanted, I just wanted to be like you and Jowan… I just wanted to be…” He didn’t bother finishing. Lyonel held Alinn’s face in his hands,

“You have always been and always will be one hundred percent real and valid.” He risked kissing him, he just needed Alinn to know he was no different from any other man in the tower. Alinn wrapped his arms around Lyonel’s neck keeping the mages close together before wincing away in pain.

“Okay seriously you need to let me look at that injury I’m worried.” Lyonel said.

“Alright fine you worry wort.” Alinn said. “Let’s go to the baths it's marginally more private.” Alinn said, most apprentices were in classes or doing research but it still would be better for Lyonel to do his impromptu medical exam somewhere other than the apprentice’s quarters. The young apprentices went to the baths. Lyonel suggested that washing the wounds would probably be good. Alinn began to disrobe while Lyonel filled the tub with water. He saw the old faded scars on Alinn’s back and felt a twang at his heartstrings. He remembered several times Alinn had been to scared to go to the healers and Lyonel had had to do what he could for him, he never asked where the marks came from and Alinn never told him. Lyonel had an idea and quickly disrobed and got into the tub. When Alinn turned around he chuckled slightly,

“You know Lyonel if you just wanted to get me naked there are more direct ways.”

“Just get in the tub and let me see those wounds.” Lyonel said.

Alinn rolled his eyes as he carefully entered the tub, Lyonel shifted so Alinn had more space, Alinn’s back was to him.

“These bandages should be replaced soon.” Lyonel commented.

“Then you can untie them.” Alinn said,sweeping his hair over his shoulder. Lyonel reached forward and began to untie the bandaging. Alinn winced,

“Be careful with me, the healers said they didn’t expect me to heal this fast I am but a fragile elf.” Alinn said as Lyonel removed the last of the bandaging.

“You’re stronger than they give you credit for and you know it.” Lyonel said as he pressed a kiss to Alinn’s shoulder. He rested his head on Alinn’s shoulder to get a better look at his injuries. Lyonel inhaled sharply at the sight of the myriad of red scars and wounds on Alinn’s chest.

“It doesn’t hurt as much as it did.” Alinn assured him.

“These could’ve killed you Alinn, you know that right?” Lyonel asked. Alinn absentmindedly started petting Lyonel’s hair,

“I know, but it was worth the risk,” He hissed in pain, “or at least it was at the time.”

Lyonel’s hands hovered just over Alinn’s chest he poured all of his mana into healing the wounds. He felt Alinn relaxing as he leaned on Lyonel.

“Thank you emma lath.” He said, Lyonel could’ve sworn Alinn’s half open eyes were the most gorgeous things he’d ever seen.

“Anything for you.” He said, it took him a few seconds to realize just how true that was. As Alinn laid in his arms while Lyonel poured all his magic into healing him he realized he truly would do anything for the elven mage, he’d used blood magic in the hopes that it might keep him alive. Alinn kissed his jaw and laced his hand through one of Lyonel’s,

“This is nice.” He said.

Lyonel saw the adoration in Alinn’s eyes and knew exactly what he meant.

“It is, it really is.” Lyonel heard one thought at the back of his mind grow louder and louder you love him, you love him. You are in love with him. He didn’t bother silencing the voice he knew was right, when he looked at Alinn he knew he’d do anything to keep him safe, whatever the cost.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for awhile tbh, uh yeah feedback is always appreciated! you can find me on tumblr as alinnsurana!


End file.
